by Gail Duffy, LPC

Social media has become an integral part of life for many teenagers and kids, offering opportunities for self-expression, creativity, and connection. However, alongside these benefits lie hidden pitfalls—especially for young, impressionable minds still forming their sense of self-worth and identity as they learn how to navigate an increasingly complex world. 

1. The Trap of Unfair Comparisons

With social media, comparison becomes easy and constant. Kids and teens scroll through photos of others’ “perfect” lives and often end up feeling inadequate. The carefully curated snapshots create an illusion that everyone else is living a more exciting, fulfilled, and ideal life. Comparing themselves to these images can lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and feelings of worthlessness.

The reality is that social media is more about presentation than reality, but young people may not see this nuance. This can lead to unrealistic expectations and an impossible bar to reach, one that few, if anycan genuinely maintain.

2. The Rise of “Body Checking” and the Filter Effect

“Body checking”—repeatedly scrutinizing or measuring parts of one’s body—is a behavior often reinforced by social media, where looks and appearances are constantly on display. 

Influencers weigh themselves on camera, check outfits from every angle, and share what they eat.  

Kids and teens may start hyper-focusing on their physical features, looking for any “flaws” and measuring themselves against others. This relentless scrutiny is exacerbated by the easy availability of free and paid filters that enhance or drastically change one’s appearance with the swipe of a finger.

These filters set a dangerous precedent, subtly suggesting that natural appearances are not good enough. Children and teens internalize these standards, leading to frustration and distress when their real selves don’t measure up to their digitally enhanced images. Constant exposure to body checking (often disguised as a fit check to see how cute an outfit looks) can also lead to disordered eating and body dysmorphia. 

3. Socioeconomic Pressures to Keep Up with Appearances

For some, access to certain technology, like high-quality cameras or advanced photo-editing software, is financially out of reach. These resources often influence how teens present themselves online, and those without access may feel left behind or “less than.” The inability to keep up with these tech-fueled beauty standards creates a sense of exclusion, as they see peers using tools to fit social media’s idealized “norm.”

These same financial limitations extend to other aspects of social comparison, such as vacations, wardrobe, and college tours. While some teens post photos from elaborate trips or campuses, others may not have the same means, leading to a heightened sense of inadequacy or lack of belonging.

4. The Pressure for Perfection and Unrealistic Skin Standards

Social media has also influenced the way kids and teens perceive skin health. Images on Instagram or TikTok often show flawless, airbrushed skin, fostering unrealistic expectations about skin texture and appearance. Some young people are so affected by this pressure that they turn to medical interventions like Accutane, a strong acne medication, even when their skin issues may be mild or even completely normal and expected for adolescents.

By presenting smooth, poreless skin as the norm, social media encourages teenagers to believe that any minor imperfection is unacceptable. This mindset can lead to risky decisions regarding health and body image, potentially impacting their self-worth in the long run.

5. The Impact of FOMO and Exclusion

One of the most potent emotions triggered by social media is the fear of missing out (FOMO). Kids and teens see pictures from events, parties, or gatherings where they weren’t invited, leading to feelings of exclusion. This constant reminder of not being included can be distressing and isolating, fostering resentment, jealousy, and loneliness.

Imagine seeing a photo of your peers enjoying a fun party while you’re at home—an event you weren’t even aware of or invited to. This experience can be particularly painful, feeding into insecurities and leading some teens to believe that they aren’t liked or valued.

6. Why This Matters: Taking Steps to Protect Mental Health

The emotional impact of these pressures can be profound, leading to issues such as anxiety, depression, and body image disorders. For parents, educators, and mental health professionals, awareness of these social media-related pressures is essential. Here are some ways to help:

  • Open Conversations: Encourage kids and teens to talk about what they see online, how it makes them feel, and how much time they’re spending on social media.
  • Digital Literacy Education: Teaching kids and teens about the artifice behind social media—filters, curation, and marketing—can help them better understand that not everything they see is as it seems.
  • Set Realistic Standards: Remind young people that it’s okay to look like themselves, and that real life is more important than curated feeds.
  • Encourage Offline Activities: Help them find meaningful, offline activities that boost confidence and provide a sense of belonging.

By guiding young people to view social media with a healthy level of skepticism and awareness, we can support them in navigating the digital world more safely.