Reflections on A.I., Dependency, and the Discomfort That Builds Us

“There is something drug-like about using A.I. not because it produces pleasure, but because it removes a particular kind of pain.”-Debbie Millman

After working in the field for 25+ years, I know that removing a particular kind of pain is the goal for most people struggling with substance use disorders.

Debbie Millman’s New York Times opinion essay, “If You’re Over 40, You’re Ready to Use A.I.” (July 27, 2026) suggests that access to A.I. might be delayed until a person has developed the maturity to use it without giving up the work of thinking for themselves. Several of her observations, quoted throughout this piece, reflect patterns I’ve seen in my clinical work.

For many people, A.I. now offers that same quick relief those struggling with addiction seek. Stuck on an email, unsure about a decision, or dreading an empty document? Just type a few words into a chatbot, and the discomfort disappears. That relief isn’t inherently harmful, but the pattern behind it should feel familiar to anyone who has watched an addiction take hold. The behavior may change, but the goal of escaping pain stays the same.

How Addiction Cycles Form

Addiction rarely begins with the substance or behavior itself. More often, it begins with a feeling a person doesn’t want to have. They don’t want to feel emotional pain, stress, or mental anguish, so they escape that discomfort as a coping mechanism. Over time, this reliance becomes dependency, and dependency becomes an unhealthy pattern of overconsumption.

That pattern tends to repeat in a predictable loop to form the stages of addiction:

a-group-of-individuals-in-a-group-therapy-session
  1. Discomfort: Stress, anxiety, boredom, shame, or uncertainty shows up.
  2. Escape: A substance or behavior brings fast relief.
  3. Reinforcement: The brain learns that this is the quickest way to feel better.
  4. Lower tolerance for discomfort: Without practice sitting with hard feelings, those feelings become harder to bear, which makes the next escape more likely.

How Does A.I. Fit Into This Cycle?

The cycle of addiction isn’t limited to drugs and alcohol. The same loop can form for any behavior that reliably removes discomfort can become the thing a person reaches for instead of coping.

A.I. can fit into that same pattern in a quieter way. The discomfort might be a blank document, a difficult decision, or the uncertainty of not knowing what to say. The escape is a prompt that produces a polished answer in seconds. Each time that relief arrives, the brain learns that struggling is optional, and the next moment of uncertainty becomes a little harder to sit through. Relying on A.I. isn’t a clinical diagnosis, but the shape of the cycle is familiar. And for young people, what’s being bypassed isn’t just a task. It’s part of how they grow.

This is the start of an epidemic: dependency on A.I. for creativity, self-identity exploration, and so many other developmental pieces we need to watch for in young adults. Adolescence and young adulthood are when people learn to tolerate frustration, form their own opinions, and discover who they are. When a tool can shortcut each of those struggles, it’s worth paying attention to what may be lost, especially for teens who are still developing these skills.

a-therapist-speaking-to-individuals-in-group-therapy

The Blank Page: Why Discomfort Matters

Discomfort isn’t always a problem to solve. Sometimes, it’s the very thing that helps us grow. So many times, in school and in life, I stared at a blank page not knowing where to start. It was that discomfort, searching for the right sentence, the right alignment of thought, that forced me to hone in on my focal point. Now, all that struggle risks being lost.

“A student who relies on A.I. too early will most likely never sit long enough with confusion to distinguish it from failure. Confusion is a necessary state wherein people learn how to think for themselves.”

In the moment, confusion and failure can feel the same. Both are uncomfortable, and both can stir up self-doubt. The difference is that confusion is temporary. It’s a sign that the mind is working through something new. When a person never stays with confusion long enough to see it resolve, they may begin to believe that any struggle means they aren’t capable.

In therapy, the ability to experience difficult emotions without immediately escaping them is often called distress tolerance. Clinicians help clients build this skill through approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills, and meditation and mindfulness. Much like writing, it grows stronger through practice, not avoidance.

What Is Process Addiction?

A process addiction, sometimes called a behavioral addiction, is a compulsive pattern of engaging in a behavior despite negative consequences. As with substance use disorders, a person may feel strong urges, struggle to cut back, and continue even when the behavior affects their relationships, work, school, or mental health.

Gambling disorder is currently the only behavioral addiction formally recognized as a diagnosis in the DSM-5-TR, and internet gaming disorder is listed as a condition requiring further research. Reliance on A.I. is not a clinical diagnosis. Still, the warning signs Clinicians look for in other process addictions can help people recognize when their relationship with technology has shifted from helpful to harmful.

At Ethos Treatment, our Clinicians treat compulsive behaviors such as gambling and technology dependency, which often co-occur with substance use and mental health conditions. Through our dual diagnosis treatment, clients explore the underlying drivers of addiction rather than only the behavior on the surface.

Building a Healthy Relationship With A.I.

“There will be no collective vow of restraint, because the technology is already woven into the systems in which we are learning and working.”

A.I. has already been woven into our lives, and we need to evaluate and understand its psychological impact on development, identity, creativity, and self-worth. Because avoiding A.I. altogether isn’t realistic for most people, the goal is awareness rather than abstinence. A.I. can be a genuinely useful tool. The real question is whether it’s supporting your thinking or replacing it. A few habits can help keep that balance:

  • Start on your own first. Write the rough draft, outline, or list of ideas before asking A.I. for help, so the tool builds on your thinking instead of standing in for it.
  • Notice the urge. Before opening an A.I. tool, pause and ask what you’re feeling. If the answer is anxiety, frustration, or dread, that’s worth paying attention to.
  • Let yourself be stuck. Give yourself a set amount of time to stay with a problem before looking for an answer.
  • Keep some spaces A.I.-free. Journaling, personal reflection, creative projects, and working through emotions are places where your own voice matters most.
  • Turn to people, too. Talking through a problem with a friend, family member, mentor, or therapist builds a kind of connection A.I. can’t replace.
  • Talk with young people about it. Parents and educators can help teens understand when A.I. supports learning and when it takes away the chance to learn.

It may be time to take a closer look if you notice that you feel anxious or unable to start tasks without A.I., use it to avoid difficult emotions or decisions, have lost confidence in your own ideas or judgment, spend more time on it than you intended, or have tried to cut back without success.

Protecting the Blank Page

Every meaningful piece of work begins with a blank page. It’s uncomfortable. It asks us to tolerate not knowing, to make false starts, and to try again. In the rawness and realness of a blank page and a pen, fighting through ideas and discerning what matters most that process, too, might be lost to the shuffle.

It is in the friction, the challenge, and the confusion that someone truly finds themselves. Protecting that space isn’t about rejecting technology. It’s about making sure we don’t hand away the very struggles that shape our creativity, our resilience, and our sense of who we are.

Whether you’re navigating a process addiction, substance use, or a mental health concern, you don’t have to face the blank page alone. Reach out to Ethos Treatment today and take the first step toward recovering your authentic self.

image CALL NOW (267) 459-3942

The Blank Page We’re Losing

Oct 5, 2026

Treatment

Written by: Michael Blanche

Reflections on A.I., Dependency, and the Discomfort That Builds Us

“There is something drug-like about using A.I. not because it produces pleasure, but because it removes a particular kind of pain.”-Debbie Millman

After working in the field for 25+ years, I know that removing a particular kind of pain is the goal for most people struggling with substance use disorders.

Debbie Millman's New York Times opinion essay, "If You're Over 40, You're Ready to Use A.I." (July 27, 2026) suggests that access to A.I. might be delayed until a person has developed the maturity to use it without giving up the work of thinking for themselves. Several of her observations, quoted throughout this piece, reflect patterns I've seen in my clinical work.

For many people, A.I. now offers that same quick relief those struggling with addiction seek. Stuck on an email, unsure about a decision, or dreading an empty document? Just type a few words into a chatbot, and the discomfort disappears. That relief isn’t inherently harmful, but the pattern behind it should feel familiar to anyone who has watched an addiction take hold. The behavior may change, but the goal of escaping pain stays the same.

How Addiction Cycles Form

Addiction rarely begins with the substance or behavior itself. More often, it begins with a feeling a person doesn’t want to have. They don’t want to feel emotional pain, stress, or mental anguish, so they escape that discomfort as a coping mechanism. Over time, this reliance becomes dependency, and dependency becomes an unhealthy pattern of overconsumption.

That pattern tends to repeat in a predictable loop to form the stages of addiction:

a-group-of-individuals-in-a-group-therapy-session
  1. Discomfort: Stress, anxiety, boredom, shame, or uncertainty shows up.
  2. Escape: A substance or behavior brings fast relief.
  3. Reinforcement: The brain learns that this is the quickest way to feel better.
  4. Lower tolerance for discomfort: Without practice sitting with hard feelings, those feelings become harder to bear, which makes the next escape more likely.

How Does A.I. Fit Into This Cycle?

The cycle of addiction isn't limited to drugs and alcohol. The same loop can form for any behavior that reliably removes discomfort can become the thing a person reaches for instead of coping.

A.I. can fit into that same pattern in a quieter way. The discomfort might be a blank document, a difficult decision, or the uncertainty of not knowing what to say. The escape is a prompt that produces a polished answer in seconds. Each time that relief arrives, the brain learns that struggling is optional, and the next moment of uncertainty becomes a little harder to sit through. Relying on A.I. isn't a clinical diagnosis, but the shape of the cycle is familiar. And for young people, what's being bypassed isn't just a task. It's part of how they grow.

This is the start of an epidemic: dependency on A.I. for creativity, self-identity exploration, and so many other developmental pieces we need to watch for in young adults. Adolescence and young adulthood are when people learn to tolerate frustration, form their own opinions, and discover who they are. When a tool can shortcut each of those struggles, it's worth paying attention to what may be lost, especially for teens who are still developing these skills.

a-therapist-speaking-to-individuals-in-group-therapy

The Blank Page: Why Discomfort Matters

Discomfort isn’t always a problem to solve. Sometimes, it’s the very thing that helps us grow. So many times, in school and in life, I stared at a blank page not knowing where to start. It was that discomfort, searching for the right sentence, the right alignment of thought, that forced me to hone in on my focal point. Now, all that struggle risks being lost.

“A student who relies on A.I. too early will most likely never sit long enough with confusion to distinguish it from failure. Confusion is a necessary state wherein people learn how to think for themselves.”

In the moment, confusion and failure can feel the same. Both are uncomfortable, and both can stir up self-doubt. The difference is that confusion is temporary. It’s a sign that the mind is working through something new. When a person never stays with confusion long enough to see it resolve, they may begin to believe that any struggle means they aren’t capable.

In therapy, the ability to experience difficult emotions without immediately escaping them is often called distress tolerance. Clinicians help clients build this skill through approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills, and meditation and mindfulness. Much like writing, it grows stronger through practice, not avoidance.

What Is Process Addiction?

A process addiction, sometimes called a behavioral addiction, is a compulsive pattern of engaging in a behavior despite negative consequences. As with substance use disorders, a person may feel strong urges, struggle to cut back, and continue even when the behavior affects their relationships, work, school, or mental health.

Gambling disorder is currently the only behavioral addiction formally recognized as a diagnosis in the DSM-5-TR, and internet gaming disorder is listed as a condition requiring further research. Reliance on A.I. is not a clinical diagnosis. Still, the warning signs Clinicians look for in other process addictions can help people recognize when their relationship with technology has shifted from helpful to harmful.

At Ethos Treatment, our Clinicians treat compulsive behaviors such as gambling and technology dependency, which often co-occur with substance use and mental health conditions. Through our dual diagnosis treatment, clients explore the underlying drivers of addiction rather than only the behavior on the surface.

Building a Healthy Relationship With A.I.

“There will be no collective vow of restraint, because the technology is already woven into the systems in which we are learning and working.”

A.I. has already been woven into our lives, and we need to evaluate and understand its psychological impact on development, identity, creativity, and self-worth. Because avoiding A.I. altogether isn’t realistic for most people, the goal is awareness rather than abstinence. A.I. can be a genuinely useful tool. The real question is whether it’s supporting your thinking or replacing it. A few habits can help keep that balance:

  • Start on your own first. Write the rough draft, outline, or list of ideas before asking A.I. for help, so the tool builds on your thinking instead of standing in for it.
  • Notice the urge. Before opening an A.I. tool, pause and ask what you’re feeling. If the answer is anxiety, frustration, or dread, that’s worth paying attention to.
  • Let yourself be stuck. Give yourself a set amount of time to stay with a problem before looking for an answer.
  • Keep some spaces A.I.-free. Journaling, personal reflection, creative projects, and working through emotions are places where your own voice matters most.
  • Turn to people, too. Talking through a problem with a friend, family member, mentor, or therapist builds a kind of connection A.I. can’t replace.
  • Talk with young people about it. Parents and educators can help teens understand when A.I. supports learning and when it takes away the chance to learn.

It may be time to take a closer look if you notice that you feel anxious or unable to start tasks without A.I., use it to avoid difficult emotions or decisions, have lost confidence in your own ideas or judgment, spend more time on it than you intended, or have tried to cut back without success.

Protecting the Blank Page

Every meaningful piece of work begins with a blank page. It’s uncomfortable. It asks us to tolerate not knowing, to make false starts, and to try again. In the rawness and realness of a blank page and a pen, fighting through ideas and discerning what matters most that process, too, might be lost to the shuffle.

It is in the friction, the challenge, and the confusion that someone truly finds themselves. Protecting that space isn’t about rejecting technology. It’s about making sure we don’t hand away the very struggles that shape our creativity, our resilience, and our sense of who we are.

Whether you’re navigating a process addiction, substance use, or a mental health concern, you don’t have to face the blank page alone. Reach out to Ethos Treatment today and take the first step toward recovering your authentic self.

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