In the workplace, it’s not unusual to hear someone respond to “How are you?” with an automatic “I’m fine,” even when they’re far from it. Behind this everyday exchange lies a deeper cultural issue — one that ETHOS Treatment clinician Chris Richards, MS, LPC, sees regularly in his practice: a collective habit of emotional suppression.

“We live in a culture that encourages people to push things down, keep secrets, and numb themselves in order to stay competitive, stay liked, or stay employed,” Richards says. “The problem is that avoidance doesn’t make the feelings disappear. It just makes them come back harder and more intensely.”

What Happens When We Push Too Much Down?

Richards sees it all the time. People come to him thinking they’re experiencing garden-variety workplace stress or burnout. But after a few sessions, it becomes clear there’s more going on beneath the surface — usually years of suppressed emotions and unprocessed trauma.

“This pattern of pushing things down becomes reflexive,” he explains. “It’s often so subconscious that people aren’t even aware they’re doing it until their bodies or behaviors start sending signals.”

Those signals can include anxiety, depression, emotional numbness, irritability, increased substance use, or even bursts of anger that seem to come out of nowhere. In some cases, Richards sees clients experiencing anger without a clear target — just a general rage at the world.

“Sometimes the emotional reaction doesn’t match the situation,” he notes. “That’s a sign that something deeper is at play, often rooted in early life experiences where people were shamed or punished for having emotional needs.”

“High-Functioning” May Actually Be A Red Flag

In our achievement-driven culture, the people who are praised the most — those taking on extra projects, leading teams, juggling family life — may actually be the ones most at risk.

“We reward busyness. We look up to the people who are constantly hustling. But when someone is doing everything for everyone and nothing for themselves, that’s a red flag,” says Richards. “It often means they’re avoiding their own internal experience.”

This hyper-functioning, he explains, can be a form of emotional avoidance. “We hide in the busyness. We bury our discomfort under performance and perfectionism. But eventually, that strategy breaks down.”

Warning Signs

So how do you know if you or someone you care about is nearing a tipping point? Richards suggests watching for subtle signals of emotional disconnect:

  • Minimizing struggles. Saying “It’s not a big deal” or “I’ve got it under control” too often can indicate denial or avoidance.
  • Neglecting basic needs. Poor eating habits, disrupted sleep, skipping movement or exercise, and disconnecting from hobbies or relationships are all signs of imbalance.
  • Over-identifying with a single role. When a person’s identity becomes solely wrapped up in their job title or family role, it often points to a loss of self elsewhere.
  • Generalized irritability or burnout. If someone seems more impatient, emotionally distant, or unusually fatigued, their emotional reserves may be running low.

“Ultimately, we want to be whole people,” Richards says. “When we narrow ourselves to just one version — just the employee, just the parent — we disconnect from other parts of ourselves that are equally vital.”

Reconnecting With Yourself

Healing starts with awareness and small steps toward emotional reconnection.

“There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but the first step is often just slowing down,” says Richards. “We have to stop long enough to actually feel what’s happening inside.”

He recommends a few foundational practices:

  • Build relationships where it’s safe to be real. Find people — friends, loved ones, or therapists — with whom you can speak honestly about how you’re feeling.
  • Write it out. Journaling offers a unique processing experience. “There’s something different about writing it down. It externalizes the emotion and helps make sense of it,” he says.
  • Practice breathwork or meditation. Even a few minutes of mindful stillness can help shift from avoidance to awareness.
  • Reconnect with the basics. Are you eating well? Drinking enough water? Moving your body? Making time for what brings you joy? “Often, those simple things fall by the wayside when we’re stuck in performance mode.”

The Workplace Paradox: Being Human in a Professional Space

Of course, work is a complicated place to bring your full emotional self. While some workplaces are becoming more mental-health friendly, the stigma remains. Men are conditioned to be “stoic” to the point of bottling things up in a harmful way, while women who express any feelings may be criticized for being “too emotional.”

Richards acknowledges the tightrope. “There’s a tricky balance between staying professional and not abandoning your own needs. But when you’re constantly suppressing yourself just to fit in, that’s not sustainable.”

His advice? Know your own boundaries. Pay attention to how much of yourself you’re sacrificing in the name of composure or control. And make space — outside of work if needed — where your real emotions can safely surface.

“Preemptive care is key,” he says. “Whether it’s a group setting like the ones we run at ETHOS or one-on-one therapy, everyone deserves an outlet that helps them process life as it happens, instead of letting it pile up.”

Why It Matters

Richards leads an intensive outpatient program (IOP) at ETHOS that focuses on primary mental health. His approach is rooted in attachment theory, helping clients understand how early life experiences shape the way they respond to relationships, emotions, and stress.

“So much of what we do is about revisiting the past—not to stay stuck there, but to understand it and build a healthier, more sustainable present,” he explains.

Because the reality is that pretending we’re fine doesn’t make us fine. It just makes us feel more alone. If you’re struggling with workplace stress, burnout, or emotional overwhelm, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to handle it alone. Call ETHOS at 267-669-0300 or https://www.ethostreatment.com/contact to learn more about group programs and therapy services that meet you where you are.

About Ethos Treatment

Ethos Treatment LLC is a behavioral healthcare provider accredited by The Joint Commission to treat mental health conditions and substance use disorders. Licensed clinicians lead Intensive Outpatient Programs in Pennsylvania via telehealth and at seven locations: Broomall, Collegeville, Jenkintown, Philadelphia, Plymouth Meeting, West Chester and Wyomissing. Ethos accepts most insurance.

Accessibility Toolbar

image CALL NOW 267.669.0300

Mental Health In The Workplace: Why It’s Time To Stop Pretending We’re Fine

Aug 11, 2025

Blog

Written by: ETHOS Treatment

In the workplace, it’s not unusual to hear someone respond to “How are you?” with an automatic “I’m fine,” even when they’re far from it. Behind this everyday exchange lies a deeper cultural issue — one that ETHOS Treatment clinician Chris Richards, MS, LPC, sees regularly in his practice: a collective habit of emotional suppression.

“We live in a culture that encourages people to push things down, keep secrets, and numb themselves in order to stay competitive, stay liked, or stay employed,” Richards says. “The problem is that avoidance doesn’t make the feelings disappear. It just makes them come back harder and more intensely.”

What Happens When We Push Too Much Down?

Richards sees it all the time. People come to him thinking they’re experiencing garden-variety workplace stress or burnout. But after a few sessions, it becomes clear there’s more going on beneath the surface — usually years of suppressed emotions and unprocessed trauma.

“This pattern of pushing things down becomes reflexive,” he explains. “It’s often so subconscious that people aren’t even aware they’re doing it until their bodies or behaviors start sending signals.”

Those signals can include anxiety, depression, emotional numbness, irritability, increased substance use, or even bursts of anger that seem to come out of nowhere. In some cases, Richards sees clients experiencing anger without a clear target — just a general rage at the world.

“Sometimes the emotional reaction doesn’t match the situation,” he notes. “That’s a sign that something deeper is at play, often rooted in early life experiences where people were shamed or punished for having emotional needs.”

"High-Functioning" May Actually Be A Red Flag

In our achievement-driven culture, the people who are praised the most — those taking on extra projects, leading teams, juggling family life — may actually be the ones most at risk.

“We reward busyness. We look up to the people who are constantly hustling. But when someone is doing everything for everyone and nothing for themselves, that’s a red flag,” says Richards. “It often means they’re avoiding their own internal experience.”

This hyper-functioning, he explains, can be a form of emotional avoidance. “We hide in the busyness. We bury our discomfort under performance and perfectionism. But eventually, that strategy breaks down.”

Warning Signs

So how do you know if you or someone you care about is nearing a tipping point? Richards suggests watching for subtle signals of emotional disconnect:

  • Minimizing struggles. Saying “It’s not a big deal” or “I’ve got it under control” too often can indicate denial or avoidance.

  • Neglecting basic needs. Poor eating habits, disrupted sleep, skipping movement or exercise, and disconnecting from hobbies or relationships are all signs of imbalance.

  • Over-identifying with a single role. When a person’s identity becomes solely wrapped up in their job title or family role, it often points to a loss of self elsewhere.

  • Generalized irritability or burnout. If someone seems more impatient, emotionally distant, or unusually fatigued, their emotional reserves may be running low.

“Ultimately, we want to be whole people,” Richards says. “When we narrow ourselves to just one version — just the employee, just the parent — we disconnect from other parts of ourselves that are equally vital.”

Reconnecting With Yourself

Healing starts with awareness and small steps toward emotional reconnection.

“There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but the first step is often just slowing down,” says Richards. “We have to stop long enough to actually feel what’s happening inside.”

He recommends a few foundational practices:

  • Build relationships where it’s safe to be real. Find people — friends, loved ones, or therapists — with whom you can speak honestly about how you’re feeling.

  • Write it out. Journaling offers a unique processing experience. “There’s something different about writing it down. It externalizes the emotion and helps make sense of it,” he says.

  • Practice breathwork or meditation. Even a few minutes of mindful stillness can help shift from avoidance to awareness.

  • Reconnect with the basics. Are you eating well? Drinking enough water? Moving your body? Making time for what brings you joy? “Often, those simple things fall by the wayside when we’re stuck in performance mode.”

The Workplace Paradox: Being Human in a Professional Space

Of course, work is a complicated place to bring your full emotional self. While some workplaces are becoming more mental-health friendly, the stigma remains. Men are conditioned to be “stoic” to the point of bottling things up in a harmful way, while women who express any feelings may be criticized for being “too emotional.”

Richards acknowledges the tightrope. “There’s a tricky balance between staying professional and not abandoning your own needs. But when you’re constantly suppressing yourself just to fit in, that’s not sustainable.”

His advice? Know your own boundaries. Pay attention to how much of yourself you’re sacrificing in the name of composure or control. And make space — outside of work if needed — where your real emotions can safely surface.

“Preemptive care is key,” he says. “Whether it’s a group setting like the ones we run at ETHOS or one-on-one therapy, everyone deserves an outlet that helps them process life as it happens, instead of letting it pile up.”

Why It Matters

Richards leads an intensive outpatient program (IOP) at ETHOS that focuses on primary mental health. His approach is rooted in attachment theory, helping clients understand how early life experiences shape the way they respond to relationships, emotions, and stress.

“So much of what we do is about revisiting the past—not to stay stuck there, but to understand it and build a healthier, more sustainable present,” he explains.

Because the reality is that pretending we’re fine doesn’t make us fine. It just makes us feel more alone. If you’re struggling with workplace stress, burnout, or emotional overwhelm, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to handle it alone. Call ETHOS at 267-669-0300 or https://www.ethostreatment.com/contact to learn more about group programs and therapy services that meet you where you are.

About Ethos Treatment

Ethos Treatment LLC is a behavioral healthcare provider accredited by The Joint Commission to treat mental health conditions and substance use disorders. Licensed clinicians lead Intensive Outpatient Programs in Pennsylvania via telehealth and at seven locations: Broomall, Collegeville, Jenkintown, Philadelphia, Plymouth Meeting, West Chester and Wyomissing. Ethos accepts most insurance.

Table of Contents

← Table of Contents
Scroll to Top